Tag: Walden on Wheels

Gaining Prospective with Gratitude

Image Credit: Pixabay

I realized recently, I have a problem. (No comments from the peanut gallery). It started when I read Walden on Wheels. The further I got into the book the happier I realized the author, Ken Ilgunas, was becoming and, the crazy part was, by the end of the book, he didn’t have much of anything. He had a beat up Econoline Van, some clothes, and other random possession. From the outside looking in he looked like a hobo, a vagabond, or a shifty lay about with no dreams or ambitions. Funny thing is, he couldn’t have been happier. He had nothing and everything all at once. He had freedom.

By the end of the book, I found myself dreaming of being Ken. I wanted his adventures, his determination, and his grit. He’d did what I could only imagine. He got an idea in his head and was determined to see it through to the end. He was the poor man’s Richard Branson (and I mean this as an amazing compliment).

As I read, I wondered what lessons I could learn from Ken. He had a certain “Je Ne Sais Quoi” about him and I needed to figure out his secret. My mind traveled back to my single days and the thought of moving into a van to drive cross-country. Having a family I love, however, made these continued thoughts a little difficult.

It recently hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve been extremely ungrateful lately. Here I was wishing I was someone else when I had a wonderful life around me. My perspective was all wrong and it needed a change.

It tends to be a cyclical problem. Every so often I realize I’m significantly unhappier and more frustrated than is healthy. I find I needed a reality shift. I needed to change the way I think about my life. I needed to be more grateful for my life.

The Gratitude Journal:

Being grateful, for all the good in my life, isn’t easy for me. I tend to be a “glass half empty” kind of person. If I’m stuck in traffic due to a traffic accident I become angry for the delay instead of being grateful I’m not in the wreck. Why should I be grateful though, the universe is out to get me, right?

The unfortunate part of this level of thinking is it makes it more difficult to enjoy the good moments. Had a good weekend with the family? It gets overshadowed by the impending thought of work on Monday. Go out for a drink with friends? The focus is on the amount of money we spend or the hangover and not the quality time we spend with them. It doesn’t stop here. Work is always terrible, our spouse and kids are a pain, we don’t have enough time to ourselves, and everything is awful.

This is why I started my gratitude journal. Every night before I go to bed I write down 10 things I’m grateful happen during the day. This can be anything big or small. It could be something as simple as enjoying my breakfast to something epic like winning the lottery (though I’m not sure I’d need a gratitude journal if I won the lottery), to anything in between. The important thing is to write down at least 10 gratitudes for the day.

“10 sounds like a lot, Joe. Why so many?” Good question. I borrowed the idea from James Altucher and his writing on becoming an idea machine. Here’s why the number 10 is so important. Most people can easily come up with three things they are grateful for each day. Coming up with 4-5 becomes a little more difficult. Gratitude numbers 6-10 really makes the brain sweat. It forces us to really think about our day and find the little things we can appreciate. Maybe it’s a much-needed hug or an unanticipated thank you. It’s about digging deep.

The journal can be on anything. It can be a notebook, on the computer, on our smartphone, on a scrap piece of paper, or taking time to reflect on the day and come up with 10 in our head. This list can be a onetime thing or be saved to reflect on later. Personally, I use Google Docs on my phone and save each one I write. This allows me to put gratitudes in my phone throughout the day I want to reflect on later.

Here’s an example. Monday my wife reminded me, right as I was walking out the door for work, we needed to bring snack to preschool for my middle son. I was pissed she didn’t remind me sooner. We had all weekend and I could have found time this morning. Now I’m going to be late for work.

After taking time to cool down I realized two things. First, I’m grateful she remembered in enough time for me to help her out. Having to get two kids to school with a baby and having to stop by the store would be extremely difficult for her. Second, I’m grateful I have a boss who’s understanding and was okay with me being late. I was able to turn a negative into two positives. (Did I use them? Of course, I did. Waste not, want not!)

If it wasn’t for my gratitude journal I could still be bitter about it. This would create resentment which isn’t healthy in any relationship. Now I get to be thankful I have a wife who remembered and an understanding boss.

This is why this practice is crucial. There is so much going on in our lives it can be easy to forget about all the little moments which brightened our day. Most of us have plenty to be grateful for, starting with waking up each morning. As my Dad likes to say, “I woke up this morning and put my hand out to the left. Then put my hand out to the right. When it didn’t hit wood from the coffin, I knew it would be a good day.” While it can be a little embarrassing, as a teenager, to hear your Dad make this comment to strangers, I think it’s an incredibly powerful statement. We should be grateful we’re alive because the alternative doesn’t sound pleasant.

I’m not saying we aren’t allowed to be sad or unhappy. Of course, we are but focusing too much on the negative can be detrimental to our health. It’s amazing how a little practical optimism can go a long way. At the very least it helps keep things in perspective.

Don’t think it will do you any good? Try writing done 10 gratitudes every night for two weeks and see what happens. I’m certain it will make a different. Enjoy.

 

JDP Bookshelf – Walden on Wheels

Image Credit – Pixabay

51adulwfjbl._sx323_bo1,204,203,200_

I want to start off by saying I picked up this book by accident.

I was given a Kindle for Christmas and I was looking for books to read. I figured I’d give Kindle Unlimited a try finally deciding to use my free month and browsing through the book selection I came across this book. Thinking it sounded familiar, like a book someone on the Tim Ferriss Podcast recommended, I picked it out, and added it to my library. That night I decided to give it a shot. I… WAS… BLOWN… AWAY!

Summary:

Ken Ilgunas is an average high school student who goes off to college to continue his average academic career. After 5 years in school, he finds himself with zero job prospects and over $32,000 in debt. Soon after hearing a Jiminy Cricket type voice in his head, he decides to take a fate filled trip to work in Coldfoot, Alaska, a town with the population of approximately 10 people which primarily serves as a truck stop on the Dalton Highway. Soon he becomes obsessed with getting out of debt taking several jobs in and around the Coldfoot area, cleaning up in Gulfport, MS after Hurricane Katrina, becoming a voyageur, and hitchhiking all across the US. After completely wiping out his debt in only a few years, Ken decided to get his Masters in Liberal Arts at Duke University in Durham, NC. Resolute in his desire to stay out of debt he becomes a Vandweller throughout his collegiate tenure, graduating as debt free as when he started.

Why I loved It:

The short answer is almost all of it. Honestly, this hit extremely close to home for me. Much like Ken, I was an average student in high school, though I could have been better if I’d applied myself, I was an average student in college, for much of the same reason, and both of us went off to find adventure while needing to pay off a sizeable collegiate loan. One of the main reasons I left to join the Navy was to break out of the linear progression my life seemed to be taking me. School, more school, job, wife, kids, family. I was on the assembly line of life, due to no one’s fault but my own, destined for mediocrity. Unlike Ken, however, I’ve mostly continued to play it safe.

The main focus of this story is Ken’s resolute desire to get out of, and stay out of, debt. He wants to get out of debt so badly he chastises himself whenever he spends is money “frivolously.” Many of these so-called “frivolous” items are things most of us don’t even bat an eye at. Things like buying new clothes, going out to eat when there’s perfectly good food at home, having a cell phone plan, spending money to hang out with friends, or any of the myriad of things we do throughout our lives and take for granted.

At first, I thought this book was about one man’s obsessive need to be out of debt. Then I thought it was about having adventures while getting out of debt. It wasn’t until a few days ago I realized this was a personal development book and a commentary of what we think we need verse what we actually need.

For many of us, the thought of living in a van and eating food from a camping stove conjures up images of homelessness, not a choice someone’s made to save money while being frugal. The idea of moving to a town in the Arctic Circle in Alaska for work is something we would do out of desperation, not for fun or excitement. Forget about hitchhiking down the street, let alone across the country. That’s for hobos and vagabonds, not respectable folks like us. But why? Why does the thought of these things fill us with dread? Why are we afraid of downsizing our lives to need and want less, rather than always trying to get more? Why not decide to pick up and leave today with only the clothes on our backs?

I’m sure for many of us, myself DEFINITELY included, it’s fear. Fear of not having enough. Fear of what other people will think. Fear of needing something and not having it. We live in a world of excess so of course, the thought of having less scares us. It’s not the norm. It’s not our neighbors, the Jones, are doing. They want more and better and new so it becomes our default as well.

Why do we need more? Does it make us happy? Do we become more fulfilled with each new purchase and each new thing? I know for me, it makes me feel exhausted. Exhausted by the wants. Exhausted by the perceived needs. An exhausted feeling I’m swimming in stuff which doesn’t really make my life better.

This is what made this book so appealing. It wasn’t just the self-discovery or the adventure after adventure Ken took. It was the realization we are the ones who are holding ourselves back from what we really want. In fact, the things we have around us which we think are making our lives better are actually acting like anchors. They keep us from the life we want. Does this mean we shouldn’t buy the brand new car or the 70-inch flat screen? Of course not but it shouldn’t be at the expense of our dreams or put us under so much debt we are constantly drowning.

In the end, the book represented freedom. Freedom from debt, freedom from things, and freedom from the average, uneventful life. It might be an extreme example but I think Ken’s journey can teach us all how to leave happier simpler lives. I know his book has already helped change the way I see my home, what I value, and the world around me. It won’t be a quick change but I’m excited about the journey.

Come check out the book for yourself. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.