At this point, I’ve written over 15 blog posts which I’m still a little shocked happened. If you’ve read any of them you know each and everyone of them is AMAZING! They are smart and well written. They are filled to the brim with insight after insight. I know you are hanging on my every word waiting with anticipation to find out what will come next. RIGHT… (said oozing with sarcasm in case it was missed.)

Okay, I know this is not the case, except maybe for my Mom and Dad. (I love you, both, and I appreciate you reading these!) I’m not some prophetic scholar whose every word is gold. I’m just a guy who has some things to say and wanted to write them down. I am proud of my work thus far but know this is only the beginning and I have a long way to go.

When I started this blog I decided to make a list of topics I thought were interesting. Some were easy to write about while others would take a little research. It’s a pretty hearty list and I try to add to it whenever I get a chance. The problem I’m noticing is every time I look at the list I start to freeze up. I look at the list and I get writer’s block.

Then something happens. I hear Seth Godin in my head saying there’s no such thing as writer’s block and I find a way.

“No such thing as writer’s block? That’s crazy talk, Joe. I’ve experienced it before and it’s real.” Sure, there are times when it feels like I have nothing write about because my mind is blank. I think we’ve all been there. What Seth means is fear and the resistance are kicking in preventing us from moving forward. We can’t come up with any “good ideas” and we aren’t sure what should be written.

This is a problem I’ve had for a long time. I only want to come up with good ideas because no one wants the bad ones. The problem is I’m forced into an all or nothing scenario. It’s either perfection or failure. I can’t have bad ideas or people with think I’m dumb. If I’m dumb I’ll be mocked. If I’m mocked I won’t have any self-esteem, and on, and on, and on, forever. This line of think has conditioned us to either have something smart to say or nothing at all.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say, “There are no bad ideas.” Though we could go back and forth debating the merits of this statement, I believe it’s true, there are no bad ideas. The reason being, it’s the bad ideas which lead to the good ones. Rome wasn’t built in a day and good ideas don’t come out of thin air. By coming up with idea after idea the valuable ones will rise to the top.

On the flip side, an idea might sound bad to one person but could be a good idea to another. “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” sort of deal. Maybe it’s difficult to execute and with the right person it becomes valuable. Maybe the idea isn’t “good” because it’s incomplete and needs to be develop.

I have a post like that right now. I’ve rewritten it twice now and it’s still not there yet. The idea isn’t bad, it’s just incomplete.

The thing is ideas aren’t inherently good or bad. They’re only ideas. Their designation is in the “eye of the beholder.” This is what I think about now when I write. I give myself permission to suck, to have bad ideas, and to move on with the post. I embrace the bad ideas. As Seth told Tim Ferriss in his latest podcast, he’s written over 7400 blog posts (he writes one every day) and he’s only had a handful of great ones. If a prolific writer and thinker like Seth Godin can have that many “bad ideas” why can’t I?

Be okay with the suck. Be okay with bad ideas. Remember it’s the fastest way to the good ones.

This past Tuesday were the midterm elections in the US. It was difficult to miss with all the signs, ads, and people yelling about it everywhere. You couldn’t take a piss without seeing something about voting or the elections.

Now, I don’t care whether you voted or not or your political party. It’s not what I’ll be discussing here. The point here is to talk about something, I believe, is the root cause of many of our problems in the US right now. The issue is empathy.

America has an empathy problem. As a country, we pride ourselves on being superior to other countries in the world. It’s been like this for decades. When an individual has a superiority complex it’s difficult for them to have empathy for other “lesser” people. They are apathetic to other people’s plights and focus on a “me first” mentality.

“Cool story, Joe, but what does this have to do with the price of tea in China?” First, you said it wrong. It’s “Jina!” Second, I’ll be happy to explain. Much of what is focused on during election years revolves around hot-button topics: healthcare, gun control, global warming, technology, etc. You name it and we’ll find a way to fight about it. The problem is these fights usually don’t lead to any productive resolutions. Two people argue about a particular topic until they are blue in the face and go home. Nothing was solved. Nothing productive happens. Just two people pissing in the wind.

We are emotional creatures and many times we will ignore the facts right in front of us for what we chose to believe. The smarter we are and the more we care about a topic the more likely we are to seek out information backing our point of view. The more information we have to support our side of an issue, the more we dig in. We don’t want to hear differing points of view because we KNOW we are right. If we’re right, everyone with differing opinions must be wrong.

In the book Think Like a Freak by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, they dedicated an entire chapter towards making persuasive arguments. One of my favorite points they make is acknowledging the others point of view. Even though the other person’s opinion is different doesn’t mean there isn’t any value to their point of view. Listening, understanding, and accepting the other side of the issue is a big step in making a better argument.

To illustrate my point, I’m going to use a topic near and dear to my heart: Cheerleading as a sport. At some point in high school, I decided cheerleading was not a sport and shared it with others. The reason for this has been lost to time but needless to say, it didn’t make me popular with the cheerleaders of our school. Since high school, I continued to double down on this argument and for years enjoyed standing on my soapbox debating this topic. (Let me say, I consider cheerleading extremely athletic and couldn’t do half the things they can. Honestly, when I think about it, my beef isn’t with cheerleading at all, but any athletic activity which decides to call it a sport).

As I look back on the cheerleading hill I decided to die on, I realized something important. I had zero empathy for the cheerleaders at my school. I KNEW I was right and they were clearly wrong. Who cares if there are cheerleading competitions? The only reason to have competitions is because of the activity of cheerleading. No cheerleaders, no cheerleading competitions. Period!

Though it’s taken longer than I care to admit, I was verbally attacking these women. Whether I meant to or not, I was telling these women what they care about didn’t matter. Their skills and talents didn’t matter. They were wrong and I was right. They were dumb and I was smart. I didn’t give two shits about their “opinion” because I had truth on my side.

While this might seem like a silly example, this is something we tend to do others every day with bigger and more important topics. Issues with education, climate change, gun control, and health care aren’t going away any time soon. If we are not willing to look within ourselves to at least acknowledge the validity of our oppositions’ arguments, we won’t be able to make any progress towards real change. You can accept their positions have merit and not be a sellout.

Life is filled with shades of grey and almost no topic out there is completely black and white. So why do we treat life this way? Why not embrace the grey to work on making things better?

I want to leave you with this Ted Talk by Cassie Jaye called Meeting the Enemy. Enjoy!

Fuck, I am done with today. Hell, I was done with today before I woke up this morning. Was there anything wrong with today? Was there something I wasn’t looking forward to happening? Nope, not at all. I just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep until tomorrow.

I got to work like normal and tried to fake it for the day but I didn’t make it. All I could think about was writing my next blog post and ensure it got my point across. This left little room to do actual work. To set at my desk and produce the work I’m getting paid to produce. Things get into my head like a brain bug and I have a difficult time focusing until they are out.

The funny thing is I wasn’t even excited about the writing today. I have over a dozen topics on my list of future posts but I wasn’t ready for any of them. There were chapters of books I wanted to reread or articles I needed to find. I wasn’t worried about the posts being perfect but I didn’t want to waste my time. I’ve committed to posting on this blog 5-6 times per week which is forcing me to post imperfect products. Still doesn’t mean they can suck.

I know I wrote a post on Monday about positivity and how it affects your life. If I didn’t believe it when I wrote it, which I did, I sure believe it now. I’m tired, bitter, cranky, depressed and anxious, and all I want to do is go home to cry in the dark. (Is that Dashboard Confessional I hear?) I would categorize today as a bad day.

Still, I’m ok with this classification. Bad days can be a good thing. Bad days helps us appreciate the good days if we let them. Not every day can be sunshine and rainbows. The trick is to not let ourselves get sucked in too deep by the bad days. We need to stare at the bad days, embrace them, and let them go. Once our head hits the pillow, the day is over, and we get to start a new day.

Each day is a do-over. Each day is a chance to be better than we were the day before. The trick is to not be defined by the bad days or the good days but realize each day is what we make of it.

Sitting here writing, I’m glad today was a bad day. I’m glad I failed today. I was able to recognize my mindset, my feelings, and my shortcomings. Now I can take a look at my failures today to make tomorrow better. That’s exactly what I’m going to do too. I’m going to make tomorrow better.

I’ve always considered myself a pessimist by nature. Yes, I know what I said in my last post and, at times, I definitely feel like I’m a Dashboard Confessional song away from being Emo. It’s exhausting and drains most of my energy. Up to this point I’ve talked a bunch about fear, anxiety, and being negative. Honestly, they are the easiest topics for me to write about since they are major driving factors in my life. They’ve been a part of me for so long they are ingrained into my being.

But that’s not the point of this blog. It’s not to focus on how my life was but what my life can become. Now that I’ve spent all of this time trying to fight the negative aspects of my I think it’s time to go in another direction. I want to focus on practical optimism.

According to the Mayo Clinic here are some of the possible benefits of positive thinking:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress
• Greater resistance to the common cold
• Better psychological and physical well-being
• Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
• Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

I don’t know how true these are and from what I understand researcher don’t know why being positive can have these benefits. I have to ask, does it matter? Don’t you think it’s worth trying even if there is a slim possibility one of the above list items could happen? I think so.

“Sure, Joe, I’d like those benefits and I want to make a change but I have no idea where to start.” Touché! The best place to start is at the beginning, with the negative self talk. The Mayo Clinic states there are four main types of Negative Self-Talk: Personalizing, Catastrophizing, Polarizing, and, my personal favorite, Filtering. Some might be more prevalent than others but they can easily creep in and cause damage.

Now the thing us pessimists need to remember is change isn’t quick. It requires practice, patiences, and persistence. Positive thinking is a skill we need to work on everyday to become stronger. Here are some things you can work on to turn that frown upside down.

1. Morning Journaling: Write a paragraph in a journal, on the computer, or in the notes section of your phone, in the morning about something positive you are looking forward to during the day. Maybe it’s a trip, seeing some friends, your favorite show being on in the evening. One thing, 5 sentences, explaining what it is and why you’re excited.
2. Gratitudes: Every night before you go to bed and think of a couple of things which really pissed you off throughout the day. Maybe is was an abundance of traffic, or a fight with the spouse. Then say why you were grateful for that experience. You could be grateful you weren’t in the accident or, worse, the hospital. It’s about finding ways to turn negatives into positives.
3. Regular check-ins: throughout the day think about the negative you were focusing on and see how you can make it positive. Get yelled at by the boss or spouse. Maybe there’s something you can work on improving by turning it in constructive criticism. Set a few times and take a couple of minutes to the negative into positive.
4. Add more funny: When it comes to tv, movies, or life in general, there’s no shortage of drama for you to encounter. They say laughter is the best medicine and adding a sitcom, romcom, stand up special, or comic from the funnies into your life will help you focus less on the drama.
5. Cut out the negative people: They say you’re the average of the five people you hang around. If those people are always negative it will be difficult to change yourself. Sometimes you need to cut the negative people from your life. While this is often easier said than done, especially with coworkers and family, you can take steps to not let them bring you down. Maybe lesson contact or don’t engage when complaining about something that happened to them.

Now if you’re anything like me you might be worried about long term sustainability of this habit change. I totally understand because trust me I right there with you. What I recommend it taking two weeks focus solely on becoming more positive. This doesn’t mean sit around your house all day trying only think positive thoughts. Instead live your life but add some of the suggestions listed above.

As a fellow pessimist, I understand any possible apprehension but if you are willing to commit to this process I am too. For the next two weeks I will be posting on twitter what I’m doing each day to stay positive so you can follow along. This way you don’t have to go in this alone and you can hold me accountable. Lets jump into this together.

With this post, I’ve officially been blogging for over a week. This will be article number eight for me, out on the Internet for all to see, whether they are reading it or not. Two very interesting things happened to me during this time. First, my parents found out I was blogging and second, I admitted what I was going to by brother-in-law.

Why is this such a big deal for me? Both times I became apprehensive about the thought of someone I know reading my stuff. I was embarrassed.

The funny thing is I’m less concerned with the random jamokes on the Internet. I don’t know them so their negative opinions mean very little to me. My family and good friends, on the other hand, mean a great deal to me and this is where the fear comes into play. Like Marty McFly, I worry about one of them saying, “Get out of here, kid. You’ve got no future.”

This isn’t a new feeling for me. I’ve always been worried about being judged by family and friends. Hell, I didn’t even tell my wife I started a blog.

This fear has always been crippling for me. I get excited about an idea but as soon as it starts to feel real, I abandon it. I know eventually, I’ll have to share it with them. What if they thought what I wrote was stupid. I’m not sure I can handle that kind of rejection.

I’m not sure I would have noticed my apprehension if I hadn’t read this article from Foundr about needing mental toughness.

It then hit me like a ton of bricks. I need to conquer my fears and inadequacies but sharing my blog with more people. I need to put this out there for anyone and everyone to read. The best way for me accomplish this is through Facebook.

So that’s what I’ve done. Shared it will my Facebook community. I know I’ll be judged, both good and bad. Some people may even talk shit about it. Either way, I’ll know it’s working. This will be interesting.

Hello. I want to officially welcome you to my blog! I’m Joe Ditzel and I’m happy you stopped by my site. I know this probably should have been the first post on this site but I got excited about starting to write I decided to save this for today.

You might be wondering why I’ve decided to start a blog in 2018 when the world already feels overrun by them. I’ve been doing a lot of reading recently trying to figure out “my thing.” The thing I could do to get out of my rut. Learn a new skill, start a side hustle, mediated on the meaning of life, or whatever else comes to mind. I’ve been writing on and off for the past two years now and find it extremely cathartic when I get around to it. Recently, I read something which stuck with me, though I can’t remember where I got it, “Stop being a consumer and start being a producer.”

What the hell does that mean you might ask? I’ll tell you. Most of our lives are spent in consumer mode. We read, watch TV, play video games, buy stuff, and in the end, we do a whole lot of taking. Some of these things may even feel productive. The problem is we spend most of our time in consumer mode and spend little time creating anything of value.

What are we doing with the information we are absorbing? Do we even use it most of the time? Does it go in one ear and right out the other? Maybe you are like me and try to share what you’ve learned with your family and friends? Unfortunately, most of the time it feels like I’m pissing in the wind. (We get it, Joe, you like listening to podcasts. Shut up about it)!

I’ve become a really great consumer in a lot of ways. I continue to take and horde and take some more. I never seem happy with what I have and I’m always looking for more. Sure I might share things I learned but most of the time I come off sounding arrogant. I’m not producing anything. I’m not putting myself out there to be judged by the world. I sit in my safe space and yell into the void. Like a Planet Fitness member, I’ve chosen to live in a judgment-free zone… until now.

At this point in my life, I’m tired of only being a consumer. Someone who wakes up a mediocre dude and whose goal is to make it to the end of the day to start the process all over again. As Jarred Moon from End of Three Fitness would say, “I want to be a better human!” I want to learn, grow, change, and adapt to this new world around me. I want to be a better human for my wife and three beautiful children. I want to leave this world feeling like I made a difference, even if it is a small one, and not with the overwhelming feeling of mediocrity.

So that’s the goal here with the Joe Ditzel Project. I want to build a better Joe Ditzel. I want to continue to read, watch, and listen and then come back here to share it with you. Maybe you’ll find it helpful. Who knows? All I know is if I didn’t start last week I never would have found out. I hope you’ll come along for the ride with me.

Apparently, when I was growing up it was all sunshine and rainbows. Kids were told they were special, they were loved, and they could be anything they wanted in the world. We were told this all the time and we believed it. The world was our oyster. We wanted to change the world and bringing people together.

Then, as we grew up. The world changed. We weren’t special but became entitled Millennials. We became the generation who “didn’t want to work hard” and “wanted everything handed to them.” Soon the term Millennials became synonymous with lazy pieces of shit. People used it the same way my grandmother would use the term “gypsy,” with hatred and disgust.

As Millennials, we become self-loathing trying their best to disassociate from that word. We hid from it. People didn’t want to be special or unique because it was now a “dirty” word. “You think you’re better than everyone?” “You think you should be treated differently than everyone else?”

Here’s the thing, kids. Those people, the haters, they want us to be mediocre. They want us to be average. They want to bring us to the median to feel better about themselves. They don’t want us to stand out because they might have to admit their own inadequacies, and that scares them. They want to keep us down so we don’t become better than they are. Those people want us to be losers, followers, and a “yes, men/women.”

My favorite example of this comes from the movie Fight Club. In the second half of the film, Tyler Durden starts up Project Mayhem and recruits followers. As they work, he repeatedly yells phrases like, “Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”

When I first watched this movie, it was real easy to get swept up into this sentiment. We ARE all the same, and we ARE all made of the same atoms. Maybe Tyler has a point. Maybe I’m not a beautiful and unique snowflake. Maybe, “I am the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”

The thing is Tyler Durden was building an army he could lead. He didn’t want anyone challenging his authority. He wanted his people to be complacent. If he told them they were pieces of shit enough times, they would believe it, and they would follow his lead without question. Why wouldn’t they? If they were the same decaying organic matter, crap of the world as everyone else why not just follow the leader? Tyler striped away everyone’s identity to make everyone the same and keep everyone down.

Recently, I’ve come to realize something. WE ARE SPECIAL! WE ARE A BEAUTIFUL AND UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE. We are one of a kind and there will not be anyone like us ever again. Even identical twins are never exactly the same. They may have similar thought patterns, and share similar life experiences, but they are never exactly the same. Remember, we have value. We have worth. We have something to offer the world, and we should be proud to do so as often as possible.

Okay! Now here’s the caveat. We may be special but that entitles us to absolute DICK! The universe owes us nothing. Life isn’t fair and us will have to go out there every day to earn it. As the Navy SEAL Commander, Jocko Wilink, says you have to “get after it!” If you want to be taken seriously you will have to show the world what you are made of by putting in the work.

It’s going to be hard. It’s not always going to be fun. There will be days we’ll want to play video games or binge tv all day. We will fall and not want to get back up. And just when we think we have the world all figured out, it will put us back on our asses.

Sounds exciting doesn’t? Sounds like a barrel full of monkeys? I know it doesn’t but anything in this life worth having will take time and effort. This is the lesson I only recently started to learn. There are no shortcuts, just better/smart ways of doing things. There aren’t any overnight successes.

My point is this. We are special but the world don’t owe us anything. We will have to show the world we’re special every day. We will fail, but those are just bumps in the road. Failure only define us if we let them. Let’s show the world what we can do. Let’s NEVER hold back! Now, “Get after it”!

Gifts have always been a mix bag for me. On the one hand giving and receiving gifts are fun. There are few things better than when someone buys you something you really wanted or finding that perfect gift for someone. On the other hand, gift giving is a real pain in the ass. There are those people who suck at gift giving. They either put very little thought into it or they don’t know you at all. Then there are those who are difficult to buy for or when you buy the “perfect” gift they don’t seem to care. You get the, “Thanks for the gift,” combined with a sarcastic eye roll.

Gifts are complicated, or at least that’s how I feel. I find the problem with gift giving is you have to pay attention. You have to listen to your friends and family to understand “What they truly desire.” You need to be present with those around you and focus on what they are saying. Many times the desire is something subtle. Maybe it’s a “I’ve been on my feet all day and they are killing me,” or “Having the kids in the house all day is driving me nuts.” They aren’t asking you to do anything but if you actually listening you could give them a “perfect” gift.

Who the fuck wants to do that? Who wants to pay attention to the people around them all the time? I know I don’t. It’s exhausting. That’s work. I spend 40 hours a week working do I really need to do more work by listening to you?

If you are anything like me, you spend a ton of time in your own little world. As much as I try not to be I’m coming to realize how selfish I am. When I get home from work, I like to have about five minutes to decompress before I get into the home life. I tell myself I only need five minutes but once the time is up I’m disappointed and upset I didn’t get more time. “If I had 10 minutes alone, I would have no problems being present. Yeah, that’s it… Just ten minutes.” Unfortunately, that’s never enough either. It’s never ever enough.

Then I start sneaking and stealing time to do what I want to do. A couple minutes listening to a podcast here or a YouTube video there. Maybe a quick round of Tetris? I sneak and steal and borrow from other people to give to myself. Then when it’s comes time for those mandatory gift giving times, I’ve got nothing because I wasn’t present all year long.

At times I feel like a hoarder. I hoard time, I hoard money, and I hoard myself only giving it away when I feel it benefits me. I give gifts because I’m hoping for something in return or I feel obligated. I’m looking for the gift of reciprocity. Quid pro quo, so to speak. If I give you enough of gifts, maybe you give me something in return.

The funny thing is, I’ve found it doesn’t get me anywhere. I end up with a ton of shit and no one to share it with. I become a scrooge. In the end, I just feel miserable.

Recently, I’ve started to make change in my life. I’m looking to give more away. I want to give more gifts.

People always talk about the way you feel when you give a gift. How it makes you feel when you give freely of yourself. When you are able to put someone else’s needs ahead of your own. Seth Godin, in his book the Linchpin, talks about how the giver gets more out of the gift than the receiver. I believe it because I’ve felt it.

This has become one of my new goals. I received so much in my life so far that it’s time to start giving. This means I will also need to be more present in the lives of those around me. It means doing instead of offering. This means turning off the TV, pulling the headphones out of my ears, making eye contact, and keeping my mouth shut. The more I listen the better the gifts I can give.

Today, I’m giving myself a challenge. I will give a least one gift a week for the next year. This gift does not have to be monetary but needs to be freely given with no strings attached. This could be inviting someone over for dinner or buying them a bottle of their favorite bourbon. It could be watching someone’s kids or paying for their ticket to the movies. This means at least 52 gifts for the next 52 weeks. (Christmas and Birthdays don’t count as part of the gift giving process). I don’t know how this will go or what this will look like but I’m excited!

How are you at gift giving? Are you up for the challenge? Come join me and let me know how it goes!