Why We Should Want to be a Generalist in a World of Specialists

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I’ve always considered myself a Jack-of-all-Trades, master of none. It’s something I’ve taken great pride in throughout my life. While most people would only focus on one or two major areas of interest, I was all over the place soaking up knowledge like a sponge. I didn’t care where it came from, I like learning fun facts and how things work.

I’ve never wanted to be a specialist because it’s always felt a little too restricting. Why be force into learning one particular thing when there’s so much out there to learn on such a wide array of topics. It always felt like a waste.

For a while, I started feeling my manic knowledge acquisition was becoming quite burdensome.  I felt like other people saw me as flighty, uncommitted, and undisciplined. I’m sure they felt like they were on an episode of Pinky and the Brain where I was trying to come up with schemes to take over the world. It’s been stressful to say the least.

Unfortunately, over the last couple of years, I’ve come to face an uncomfortable truth. Companies don’t want generalists. They don’t want the “utility” player who can do a little bit of everything but is still willing to learn everything they need to know about their job. Companies want specialists. The purveyors of a “particular set of skills” companies can leverage for rapid integration of new personnel. The person who spent the last 10 years acquiring knowledge in a particular area to beat out the competition. They want the “best in their field.”

Generalists are often seen as flaky and undisciplined by the outside world. We are unwilling to put in the hard work to pursue excellence and be the best. Our flippant disregard for specialization makes others feel we are a liability instead of an asset.

This level of thinking was detrimental to me for years. I would bounce from thing to thing hoping to find my “one” thing I would be interested in to make a long-term career out of it. But of course, nothing stuck. Sure, there are interests I gravitate towards like business development, nerd culture, fitness, and, obviously, personal development but not enough to make anything land.

Recently, the stars aligned, and my thought process changed. Being a generalist isn’t a burden. Jack-of-all-trades isn’t a scarlet letter I need to wear in shame. It’s a superpower. It’s something I should embrace.

It 2007, Tim Ferriss wrote a blog post on “The Top 5 Reasons to be a Jack-of-all-Trades.” In the article, Tim gives his readers five excellent reasons to be a generalist, summarized here:

  • “Jack-of-all-Trades, Master of None” is an artificial pairing. Using the 80/20 principle we can learn all we need to know about a subject to be considered an expert.
  • In the world of dogmatic specialists, it’s the generalists who ends up running the show. Companies, organizations, the military, and countries are run by generalists who have specialists as sidekicks.
  • Boredom is Failure. Becoming overly specialized can lead to boredom while generalizing creates keeps things interesting.
  • Diversity of intellectual playgrounds breeds confidence instead of fear of the unknown. The more we want to learn the easier it is to connect with those around us.
  • It’s more fun, in the most serious existential sense. The more we find interesting the more unique experiences we can enjoy.

It is a great, short article which is worth taking the three minutes out of the day to read. The thing is, after rereading this article for this post, I felt he missed come critical positives of the generalist mindset. Some added bonuses generalist shouldn’t overlook.

Here are five more reasons to be a Jack-of-all-Trades:

They Better Problem Solvers:

When a problem arises for the specialist they want to solve it using the only way they know how, through their specialty. This could work for them, but it might not be the best solution. Having a broad sweeping knowledge of a greater number of areas allow the generalist to come up with creative ways to problem solve. This could wind up creating an even better solution than any specialist could.

They Pioneer New Industries:

One of the most important ideas, in my opinion, to come from the author/podcaster James Altucher is becoming an Idea Machine. This is where individuals brainstorm at least 10 ideas per day to build up the “idea muscle.” In this daily practice he brings up the notion of “idea sex” where two or more ideas are combined to create something new and different.

This is how entire new industries born. Think about the smart phone. It’s a combination of the mobile phone, the personal computer, and the internet. Now we have faster computers in our pockets than I didn’t when I went to college. Generalists have a great ability to use idea sex to pioneer new industries, due to their vast interests, then the specialist.

They are more creative:

Much like with pioneering new industries, generalists have a broader range of knowledge to use with their creative endeavors. New worlds, art styles, and passions can come by combining two or more areas of interest. Imagine if the movie Independence Day took place during World War 2 instead. It would probably look a lot like the PlayStation 3 game Resistance: Fall of Man. Two seeming different genres were melded together to get something completely unique and interesting. Even a Lord of the Rings is a blend of Norse Mythology, Medieval Fantasy, Tolkien’s experiences as a soldier during World War 1, and his observations of the changes in the world around him.

They make better Specialists:

Contrary to most of this posts message being a specialist isn’t a bad thing. Getting into the nitty gritty of a topic or subject has it’s on set of rewards for those willing to take the time to dig deep. If, however, a specialist decides to broaden their worldview by looking outside of their discipline it could create some interesting opportunities. Especially when the other discipline is completely different.

In a YouTube video discussing the documentary Free Solo about Alex Honnold who was the first person to ever free solo Yosemite’s El Capitan, the director makes an interesting but throwaway comment. Director Jimmy Chin stated, “We needed elite professional climbers that were also incredible film makers and cinematographers, meaning there’s only three or four people in the world you can call.” These individuals were using knowledge and expertise in multiple areas to help with a unique experience they wouldn’t had otherwise.

They are specialists in disguise:

Generalists specialize in the world. They can find something interesting where others might find it unappealing or boring. They like to learn from people who are passionate their interests and try to bring out their excitement. Generalist specialize in “fun facts” and know just enough about various topics to be dangerous.

They may not be concerned with becoming the best in a field of study, but they are happy knowing they can hold their own. This allows them to take what they’ve learned in a variety of areas and combine them into their own unique specialty. Vagabond, dilettante, dabbler, jack-of-all-trades are badges of honor for the specialist who “specializes” in everything.

 

The best part is history is littered with successful generalists. People who took their love and passion for the world and became immortalized. Three of the most famous being Leonardo DaVinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Benjamin Franklin.

Even as the world has gotten small and the demand for the specialist has grown there are plenty of famous generalists including Tim Ferriss and Ashton Kutcher. If someone told me 20 years ago that guy from That 70s Show and Dude, Where’s My Car would become not only a famous actor but a successful investor, philanthropist, and activist, I would have said they were nuts. Here we are, and he is killing it.

It can be easy sometimes to see our generalist desires as burdensome. It’s easy to feel bad when we are unwilling to focus on one thing. It’s easy to listen to the nay-sayers. The thing to remember is it’s okay to be a generalist. This super power of ours gives us strength if we are willing to embrace it. Sure, if we are not careful it will control us, but, with practice, we can become stronger than any specialist. If we continue to learn wherever we can, there is no limit to what we can create. So, let’s get out there, read a book, watch a YouTube video, or have a genuine conversation with someone to learn something new.

I’m Back With the #1 Way to Be Happy!

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It’s been a while since I posted anything and for this I apologize. I was trying to work on some big changes, but they are taking longer than I planned. Instead of waiting any longer I decided I needed to get back on the horse and continue writing. The plan from now one is to write two posts a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays, allowing me to continue to raise the quality of each post. As time permits, I will add bonus posts here and there. Until then, I hope you enjoy.


How often do we wake up in the morning wishing we could roll back over and sleep the day way? We think about the jobs we must go to or the myriad of responsibilities we have throughout the day. We think about our massive To-Do lists and become exhausted instead of energized. I know this is how I am most mornings.

The problem is we are unhappy with our lives. We don’t like the direction it is headed. With each passing day it becomes easier and easier to feel stuck in the life we feel is going nowhere.

We want to be excited to wake up each morning, proud of the direction our lives are headed. We want to feel fulfilled and know our life has purpose. We want to be happy.

But what does it mean to feel happy? Well, according to Google, the expert on EVERYTHING, happiness is the state of feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. As my sister would say, “It’s living a life we don’t need a vacation from.”

“Thanks for the English lesson, Joe, but what is this magical key to being happy?” Okay, we go. The number one way to be happy is to change. That’s right, I said it. We need to change.

“I don’t know what’s worse, Joe? Your click bait title or your fortune cookie advice.” Hold on a second and let me explain. For those of us who are chronically unhappy, me included, it’s because we continue to do the same thing, day in and day out, expecting different results. Sure, we might try something new once or twice, but it doesn’t take us long to fall off the horse. Then we throw our hands up in the air, say “I can’t do it,” and continue with our lives. Does this make sense?

We feel stuck because we don’t want to or are unwilling to change. For many of us, fear is what’s holding us back. Fear of failing, fear of success, fear of disappointment, or plain fear of the unknown. Whatever the reason, we are holding ourselves back and no one else. How can we expect anyone else to take us seriously if we won’t take ourselves seriously?

Change isn’t easy. Change sucks. Change is something many of us resist because it’s easier to continue where we are than to move forward. Change takes willpower, time, and energy which are three things many of us have in short supply.

The most important thing about change is no one can do it for us. We must want it. We must chase after it. We must be the ones who put in the work, every day, to ensure it happens. I know it’s easier said than done but here are a few things we can do to move the ball forward.

Making a Change:

Now we know what to do but how do we go about making those changes? Here are five things we can try changing:

Make on small consistent changes/establish a new routine:

The interesting thing about change is many times big change comes from making small, consistent changes over a long period of time. When trying to lose weight, it’s much easier to make a smart, healthy breakfast each day then it is to go full Paleo. Sure, it’s better to change our diets completely to only healthy meals, but it’s difficult to maintain. There are times I fail before I even begin.

Big changes can be daunting which causes us to become overwhelmed quickly, causing us to fail, and perpetuating the cycle of feeling like a failure.

We need to start with small, consistent changes by introducing one or two new habits at a time. I know I have a problem of wanting to make all the changes at once, but this quickly becomes as overwhelming as making one big change. It can be too much to handle.

Instead, making one or two small changes at a time allows us to get accustom to this new routine seamlessly. After the new habits or changes become routine, we can feel free to add a couple more.

Meet new people:

Everyone’s favorite. Meeting new people. Why is it scary for so many people? I think it has something to do will all the unknowns. Will we have anything in common? Will they be boring? Will they be obnoxious? Will they find me obnoxious? Will I ever see them again and if the answer is no, why bother talking to them in the first place?

These are all valid concerns and there are plenty more where those came from, I’m sure. Should these concerns stop us from trying to meet new people? Of course not. Though some people we meet might suck, there will be plenty of gems too. People we will be thankful we took the time to meet.

One of my favorite stories to tell is about meeting my best friend, and now my brother-in-law. Shortly after getting to my first duty station in the Navy, another friend of mine, Alan, and I walked into his barrack’s room to see this goofy looking dude sitting on one of the twin beds. I immediately disliked this guy for no good reason. A week or two later Alan left to go back home for the weekend leaving me with nothing to do. I figured, “why not see if the new guy wants to hang out?” We hung out for the entire weekend and became fast friends.

Fast forward to today. He married my sister and we talk almost every day. We were on the ship together, we lived together, and we went to Iraq and Kuwait together. He’s also one of my longest running friendships I have in my life. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t decided to meet someone new, or at least get to know them better.

Again, I know when we try to meet new people we’ll find plenty of duds. They are uninteresting, boring, or even obnoxious and we won’t want anything to do with them. That’s okay. It will happen but for dud we meet there is an equal or greater number of fascinating people out there for us to discover.

Try new experiences:

Bucket list have become increasingly popular as we dream about everything we want to do with our lives. The thing is, when was the last time we checked anything off the list? When was the last time we were a little adventurous and did something completely out of the norm? Sky diving, surfing, rock climbing? It could be something as simple as walking around a new area town or taking a hike in the woods.

The point is, we get stuck in these ruts and routines and don’t see a way out. Can’ts and have tos take over and the things we want to make time for begin to fall by the wayside. We make excuses to explain why we are unable to do what we want. Wife, kids, job, and other responsibilities all become a priority (which are obviously important) until we slowly start to lose pieces of ourselves. Then all we are left with, in the end, is a mountain of regret.

Sometimes we need to shake things up. We need to go outside, take a trip (with or without the family), and get a little crazy. There are plenty of ways to have new experiences by walking out the front door. Take a chance and live a little. Maybe we can check something off the ever-growing bucket list too.

Learn a new skill:

Learning new skills has always been scary for me. If I try something out once or twice and I’m not good at it, I tend to give it up pretty quickly. Why? I don’t like looking or feeling stupid. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m not alone. This is probably a feeling many of us share.

Why should be care about looking stupid? There are plenty of people who look stupid or suck when they first start out. It’s kind of the point. What makes those people different? They don’t over think the situation, don’t mind looking silly, and care more about the new skill more than looking dumb.

I’m sure there’s also the fear of time. When do we have time to learn this new skill? How long will it take before we become good at it? Then we start comparing ourselves to others and it’s easy to become frustrated.

Learning a new skill, however, takes less time than we might think. In his second book The First 20 Hours, author Josh Kaufman explains it only takes 20 hours of deliberate practice to learn a new skill. In his Ted Talk about the subject he says, “That’s 45 minutes a day for a month, and it allows you to skip a few days.”

With his easy formula we can learn anything we want to in a minimal amount of time. We won’t be elite experts, but we will have the skill. This means we have even less excuses than before to try something new.

With all the free or inexpensive tools, guides, and information on the internet it’s easier than ever to learn something new. How do we figure out what skill to learn? Well, if nothing jumps out at us immediately, we can start by making list of skills we’d like to learn. They might be skills to help at work, something we want to learn for a future career, or for fun. This is no wrong answer.

Me? What’s on my list? Well, I’ve decided I want to learn sleight of hand card tricks to use at my monthly poker game. It worked for Edward Norton, didn’t it?

Forgiving Ourselves:

I think this is a difficult one for many people. I know it’s difficult for me. Even if we try to go through life without regrets, it’s easy to wonder how our life would be different, if not better, if we made changes to our lives’ years ago. Unfortunately, until Dr. Brown invents the Flux Capacitor, and time travel along with it, we are stuck on our current trajectory.

According to an ancient Chinese proverb: “the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.” Basically, we are not able to change the past, but we can start today to change for the future. Part of this change starts by letting go of the past. It involves forgiving ourselves for not being willing or able to make changes in our lives sooner. It’s okay we didn’t start earlier because we weren’t ready. We still had things we needed to learn.

By forgiving ourselves for our past we can move forward into the future. We are recognizing our past mistakes and learning from them. We know what we need to do and can get after it. All those times we didn’t start or tried but were unsuccessful, these were not failures but were teachable moments. Moments we needed to experience to get us here, where we are today.

We need change the way we see ourselves. So, let’s take a moment today to look in the mirror, and forgive ourselves for all the anger, bitterness, and resentment we’re holding onto in our lives. We deserve it.

 

I want to finish with this last statement. Change isn’t about achieving perfection. This post is not about how we are worthless people who need to change because there is something wrong with us. We are not deficient. We are not garbage.

We, in fact, are awesome individuals with unique paths, choices, and experiences. No two people are the same and we each have something unique to teach and share. We need to revel in our individuality and be proud of this fact.

Change is about continuing to grow and learn. The change I’m talking about involves figuring out what we truly want in life, moving passed our fears, and chasing our dreams. This could be a new career, crazy new experiences, or more time with people we love, doing the things we love. Happiness comes from figuring out who we are. Change can be a great way to get us there.

Mom, I Persevered!

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My oldest son is an interesting and funny kid. About two weeks ago he came downstairs, before school, to ask me what persevered meant. Now any parent of kids will know these “life” questions tend to come out of thin air, but this question felt especially unusual for 7:30 in the morning. Wanting to be a good, helpful parent I did my best to define the word for him. Then he asked me if he had ever persevered? “Damn, kid, this is a little heavy for a Friday morning,” I thought to myself, but I tried to give him examples of times when he persevered. Then I went to work and didn’t think much of it.

A couple hours later I was randomly messing around on Facebook and noticed my wife’s post My oldest waking her up in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to ask about persevering. I lost it. This kid is too funny. Of course, he would wake up in the middle of the night because he was worried if he, in his short, little life, has persevered.

Later, after he got out of school, my wife took my kids to a rock climbing wall to run them down a little. (Parents you know what I’m talking about). My oldest struggled for a little bit but it didn’t take him long to make it to the top. Once he hit the bell at the top, he looked down, and yelled, “I persevered!” God, I love this kid!

For those who don’t know, like me until I started writing this post, the official definition of perseverance from Merriam-Webster is a “continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition: the action or condition or an instance of persevering: Steadfastness.” Basically, it’s when we keep at a task or goal even when it’s hard and we suck at it. It’s Thomas Edison with the light bulb or Martin Luther King, Jr. with the Civil Rights Movement.

This begs the question, where does perseverance come from? Why are some people able to persevere when challenges are placed in front of them and others fold like a house of cards? Is perseverance something we are born with or can it be learned? Well, thanks to the research of Carol Dweck we have a pretty good idea of how to answer these questions. Ultimately, it comes down to whether an individual has adopted a Fixed Mindset or a Growth Mindset.

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset:

“That’s great, Joe, but what’s the difference?” Well, those with a fixed mindset believe people’s basic abilities, intelligence, creativity, and talents are predetermined at birth. They are unchangeable. This makes an individual’s goal to always look smart and avoid looking dumb as much as possible. This leads to an avoidance of challenges to prevent failing because failing means, “they suck!” If they do put themselves out there and they fail it can be devastating, defining their personality forever. These people tend to put themselves into boxes likes:

  • I’m not creative
  • I’m not a people person
  • I’m not athletic
  • I suck at writing
  • I can’t get in shape
  • I’m lazy
  • I’m a procrastinator
  • I’m an introvert

It becomes about talent over skill. They either have it or they don’t. They focus on who they are rather than who they can become.

People with a Growth Mindset, however, believe the abilities and talents they were born with can develop through hard-work, dedication, and practice. When they work on growing their skills it helps to strengthen their motivation, which creates a love of learning and builds resiliency. They know their skills are a starting point and though not everyone is a genius, they can become smarter with persistence and education. There is a willingness to face challenges instead of running from them realizing setbacks are temporary and success takes time. Criticism is a growth tool, for them, rather a judgment on their character. Lastly, they are able to improve because they are able to focus on the type of person they want to be instead of who they are currently.

Now, while it’s easy to make this black and white seeing some people have fixed mindsets and others have growth mindsets, life tends to be a little gray. There are times we will have fixed mindsets about ourselves but will also work on personal growth projects. We work to change while fighting to keep things the same.

I know for myself, I spent most of my non-adult life with a fixed mindset. I was “smart” as a kid so I didn’t have to work hard, I was pretty good at playing the saxophone so I didn’t really need to practice, and of course, I was a starter in Fencing because I was better than most of the people on the team. (Yes, I know I’m a nerd. It’s cool). I had the talent and others didn’t. I was arrogant. As I grow up, I realized I had to work for the things I truly wanted. Getting into my college fraternity, completing boot camp, and in shape to get a better fitness test score all took energy and work. I had flashes of a growth mindset but still, my fixed mindset prevailed. Recently, I’ve been working to change my mindset through hard-work, dedication, and practice. Slow and steady.

Developing a Growth Mindset:

It’s easy to say we need to develop a growth mindset but the question becomes “how?” Are there things we can do to change how we see the world? Sure there are but the important thing to remember, as with anything, developing the growth mindset “skill” will take hard work and patience. Here are some things we can do to cultivate this mindset.

Practice Failing: One of my favorite stories of individuals who have a growth mindset comes for Spanx Founder Sara Blakely. One of the things her dad would ask her at dinner each night was, “What have you failed at this week?” Each time he wanted her to have an answer. This wasn’t the request of an obsessive father who wanted his daughter to be perfect. This was a man who wanted his daughter to try new things, be adventurous, and not worry if she wasn’t the best.

We need to try things that scare us and we might find new things we actually enjoy. At the very least it will help us get comfortable with the uncomfortable. It was this one little question Ms. Blakely attributes to her success and being the youngest self-made female billionaire in America. We may not become a billionaire but maybe it will help us live the life we’ve always dreamed.

Work on Weaknesses: We all have a good idea of our strengths and weaknesses. This makes it easier to avoid the things we aren’t good at to focus on where we excel. This can limit our growth potential since we have become afraid of trying new things. In a similar vein to practice failing, we need to embrace our weaknesses. We don’t need to be scared of them but rather work on them making them better. Our flaws don’t need to hold us back but can be fun changes as we try to improve.

Learn Something New Every Day: One of the keys to a growth mindset is the ability and willingness to learn something new. This doesn’t need to be some amazing revelation about the meaning of life but could be a fun fact for the day. Something like: did you know a great white shark can only breathe when they are moving? If they stop moving they will die so they never sleep.

While it’s a good idea to take time each day to read, we can pick up our information from anywhere. Podcasts, audiobooks, YouTube, or even the next door neighbor all have something they can teach us if we are willing to learn. There’s also no better teacher than experience. Have a leaky faucet in the house or apartment? Find a YouTube video or Wikihow and try to fix it without the plumber. The point is to get out of our comfort zone and continue to learn.

Develop Identity Based Habits: I wrote about this a couple weeks ago talking about who we want to become. This is extremely important for a growth mindset. By focusing on who we want to become we are focusing on the process rather than the results. Here’s what I mean. “I want to lose 10 pounds,” is a result. It is what we want to happen. If we change the thought to “I want to be a healthier person,” then we are focusing on who we want to become. We are thinking about long-term goals and become interested in learning how to be healthier overall. What should we eat, how should we exercise, and what else can we do to increase our overall health? These are all things we get to explore, and more when becoming a healthier person.

I recently decided I want to become a freelance writer. If I was asked six months to a year ago if this was my plan, I probably would have laughed. When I think about it now I’m excited, and more than a little terrified. For years I only thought about monetary goals. I wanted to be a millionaire. I wanted to be rich. I bounced from idea to idea like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh because I didn’t care what I did as long as the money was there. Now I’m focused on who I want to be when I grow up. I’m focusing on the process and not the results of making money.

I know it’s easier to focus on the results because they are a tangible we can track, which is important. These numbers are still important to track to show we are heading in the right direction but if we only care about the numbers we will look for shortcuts. People who concentrate on who they want to become and the process to get them there will have increased, longer lasting results.

 

In the end, each mindset has its place but if we want to learn to be better than we were yesterday, we have to adopt a growth mindset. We need to remember our God-given talents and skills are only a starting point and it is our job to develop them further. We have to do away with words like “I can’t” or “I’m not a (fill in the blank)” and spend more time saying, “I can” and “This is who I want to be.”

There’s no doubt the world is a scary place and no one wants to be made fun of or thought of as dumb. It can be easy to hide in our little holes afraid to experience the world but then we spend our life scared of our own shadow. Sure a fixed mindset is safer in the short-term but in the long-term, our life is like a treadmill. We put thousands of miles on our bodies but never go anywhere. It’s time for us to go somewhere.

Finding Our One: Building Our Virtual Mentor Network

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I’ve always wanted a mentor. Someone I can turn to help guide me through my personal and business related developments. Someone who is willing to help me start a business and grow it into something sustainable. Or someone who bounce questions and ideas I have in my personal life. Unfortunately, I do not any formal relationship with anyone, however, I’ve found the next best thing. I discovered a world of virtual mentors who I can “crowd source” for information on the questions I’m facing. We’ve never met but they help guide me more than they’ll ever know.

“But, Joe, there are so many people out there peddling their Cure All’s, how do we know who to trust?” It’s a good question. There are tons of people out there, including me with this blog, who are looking to help and share what they know, many even come with a cost. It can be difficult to know who to trust. Where are the individuals we will actually find helpful and who are the snake oil salesmen/women? (I don’t want to discriminate against salespeople.) Most importantly how do we find them?

These are important questions. How do we cut through the noise and the garbage to find the people we can trust? Here is the best way I’ve found to find quality virtual mentors:

Start with One: Cutting through the noise and finding quality mentors comes down to this one simple principle: Start with One. What does this mean? Well, we find one person we trust, whether personally or virtually, learn as much as we can from them, and find out who they trust. Then the cycle begins again. Our “One” could be a parent, friend, celebrity, or someone we heard about on the news. Maybe it’s Warren Buffett or Steven King or our Dad. The important thing is to find someone, just one person, to start the process. Typically, this is someone in a field we’re interested in but we can start anywhere.

Once we’ve found, and learned from, our “One,” we find out who they trust, usually through interviews, books, or personal blogs, if they have one. It doesn’t them long to mention at least one or two people they like, follow, are reading, etc. If they aren’t famous or don’t have much information out there on them, check social media profiles. It’s easy to check to see who they follow on Twitter or Instagram which gives us more people to check out. Then it’s a matter of looking into these new batch of people to hear what they have to say. If we like what we hear from this “New One,” we assimilate it and repeat the process. If what they say doesn’t resonate, move on to the next person on the list.

I started collecting virtual mentors when I found podcasts in 2014. It started with a show called Barbell Shrugged and they were interviewing Joe De Sena, the founder of the Spartan Race. Having wanted to run a Spartan Race for some time, I decided it was worth a listen. I LOVED IT! The interview was intriguing, the conversations were fun, and the hosts were interesting and knowledgeable. I felt it was an all-around great show. From this point on I was hook.

Later the hosts of Barbell Shrugged created a second show, called Barbell Business, where they discuss the ins and outs of running a gym business. Since I was currently the admin of a CrossFit gym in the area, I soaked up every piece of information form ever episode. In one episode they shared the business books they believed helped them the most. This is where I found Tim Ferriss, his book the 4 Hour Work Week, and, soon, others who would change my life.

I picked up the book on Audible and blew through the 13-hour recording as quickly as I could but it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more Tim Ferriss as soon as possible. This led me to his blog and eventually his recently started podcast. I subscribed to the show, started from episode 1 and continued to work my way through the list. Each episode was filled with new and interesting people I had never heard of, spider webbing the number of people I turn to for advice and guidance.

It’s not a quick process but, when done well, can lead to a mountain of quality mentors. I’ve found new “mentors” from podcast interviews, blog post mentions, reading lists, social media suggestions, Google search rabbit holes, friends, family, and more. This process, which I unintentionally started when I listen to that fateful Joe De Sena interview, has blossomed into a network of virtual mentors in a variety of categories, which still continues to grow. People who I “know” and trust the information they share.

It’s said knowledge is power but I believe the right knowledge is even more powerful. Finding the right people to listen to and trust can easily set us up and apart from those around us. It is this drive to learn and be better which will eventually help us grow into who we want to become. The best part? It only takes “One!”

*I’m curious to know who you consider your “One.” Let me know in the comments.*

Perfection is Boring, Let’s Be Imperfect!

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For years I wanted to create something. Something people would find interesting and exciting. At first I thought it was a business. I was going to be a titan of industry, creating a startup, and “disrupting” the world but I never found the “right” idea. Then I thought it would be a podcast. They seemed easy to do and I found the “perfect” partner to make it happen. Unfortunately, we had different life goals which killed our project. Realizing I might need to go in alone, I thought a blog might be the best way to start. Still it took me almost two years to get started. It wasn’t until I let go and started was I able to make progress.

So, what happened? How did I go from a serial project procrastinator to publishing over 40 blog posts? Honestly, I got pissed off and feed up with myself and stopped fighting the resistance. I stopped coming up with excuses to push my project back another week. I stopped trying to be perfect.

I consider myself to be a fairly rational person. I can see the world for how it is, warts and all. Unfortunately, being able to think rationally doesn’t stop me from acting irrationally. Sometimes the mind goes on autopilot and the body is only along for the ride. (I’m sure I’m not alone in this respect). So when I decided I wanted to start some kind of project, creative or otherwise, I KNEW I was going to suck at it no matter what I thought I knew. I was a beginner, a white belt, a N00B, if you will. I wasn’t going to be the next Mark Zuckerberg in business, Joe Rogan in podcasting, or Steven King with writing. I knew they weren’t great out of the gate either. It took years for them to develop the skills they needed to get where they are today. I knew even if I did make it to their level, it would take me years of hard, continuous work.

I knew all of this but still didn’t start. Why? I wanted, whatever I was doing, to be perfect. I was afraid of what people might say. I didn’t want to show the world my imperfect product to be judged as garbage. If it was perfect, however, no one could say anything!

It wasn’t until I read Linchpin by Seth Godin, it clicked. I realized perfection is impossible. Perfection is boring. Sure I don’t want to put garbage into the world (there’s already enough out there) but I didn’t know why I was waiting, either. Perfection is a made up word the resistance created to keep us complacent. Keep us in fear. Keep us from reaching our potential.

Think about it. Who out there is perfect? Who out there is without flaws? Brad Pitt might be extremely attractive but his relationships are a complete mess. (That’s right, I said it… Brad Pitt is attractive). Robin Williams was a great comedian and actor but he took his life when his demons finally caught up with him. And don’t get me started on the Kardashians or all of the people we see on Facebook.

Still, we seek perfection in our own lives. We want things to be flawless before they are shown to the world, much like this Apple Commercial. The problem is perfection is boring. It’s the imperfections which make us, and our work, unique. We aren’t some cog on the assembly line needing to be exactly the same as the one before it. We are supposed to be the square peg trying to fit into the round hole. We are, by nature, imperfect so let’s act accordingly.

Once I figured this out progress became much easier. I’ve create significantly more when I let go. When I leave in the flaws. When I accept what I made will be imperfect. This doesn’t mean I’m trying to product something of low quality. I care about what I write and what I’m putting out into the universe. I also know it can be a quality product and imperfect at the same time.

I am giving each of us a challenge today. We need to share something we’ve created, especially if it is incomplete or unfinished. Take a picture or share the blog post, or whatever, on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Nextdoor, or a blog. Whatever way gets the imperfection out there into the universe. Then post the link in the comments section.

*Remember we always suck at the beginning but with some practice we get better, faster. It’s far easier to make progress when we are first starting out (learning the first 80% of a new skill), then later on (learning the last 20%).*

Who Do We Want To Be?

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I wrote a few posts last week about New Year’s Resolutions, here, here and here. It was a good week for me. It was the first week, I put three posts out on the day I promised I would. It wasn’t easy but I forced myself to write them, and I’m grateful I did. It made me feel good and gave me an enormous amount of confidence. Unfortunately, this weekend hit and the motivational stores are running low.

It’s not surprising though. New Year’s Day was last Tuesday and it’s easy for us to ride out the “I have goals and dreams and I’m going after them,” high this time of the year gives us. Now it’s a new week and we lay there realizing we have a “Coyote Ugly” hanging on our arm. Present Us made a promise Future Us has to keep and now it’s time for Us to collect.

But a promise is a promise so we give it the old college try. We’ll begrudgingly stumble to the gym or type random works on a blank word document to find our motivation, all the while grumbling about what an asshole the Past Us was for this resolution.

So what happened to us? How did we go from ultra-motivated to the lazy beatnik who only wants to chillax on the couch? We have our goals, we even came up with a plan, but we are still coming up empty.

The problem is we haven’t changed our identity. We still see ourselves as the same slackers we were last year and don’t think our goals will help us become our own Heroes of Battle. I think James Clear in an interview with Jory MacKay from the RescueTime Blog says it best, “Who is the type of person you want to become? Who is the person that’s already achieving the results you want for yourself? For example, the type of person who loses ten pounds is probably someone who doesn’t miss workouts. That’s just part of their identity. They see themselves as someone who exercises consistently. And going to the gym is just part of their being.”

Maybe the goal is to start the business we’ve put off starting. We just became an Entrepreneur. Maybe it’s time to learn a new language. BAM, now we are linguists. We need to change the way we see ourselves to bring us closer to our end goals.

For me, I want to be a Skald, the badass warrior-poets of the Viking world, similar to the medieval bard. These were the people who fought next to great warriors and passed their stories on from generation to generation. They need to be strong to be a part of the Viking world but also used their intellect rather than spend all their time thinking about raiding. I want to be built like a brick house and write like a philosopher.

Unfortunately, if aren’t willing to focus on the person we want to become it is easy to stay in our rut. If we want to lose weight but don’t see ourselves as a lover of fitness or we want to write but don’t see ourselves as a writer, it’s easy to let our goals slip away. Basically, if we continue to see ourselves as losers this is how we will stay. It’s only when we are willing to change the way we think about ourselves, we are able to affect real change. Sometimes it happens by accident but most of the time it takes time and focused effort.

Still having trouble making the change? Take a page out of Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, proverbial book and try writing it down. Every day he writes down what he wants or who he wants to be on a piece of paper 10-15 times until it comes to fruition. Sometimes it’s quick and other times it can take years but it allows him to focus on the path he’s trying to follow. He used this technique when he wanted to be an illustrator and now he’s the creator of one of the most recognized comic strips in America.

Remember, we will never be the same person we were yesterday and tomorrow we can be whoever we want. Taking time to stay focused on who we want to become will only help bring us closer to our goal. This way, when we are presented with what use to be difficult choices, we already know the right answer. We’ve already made the choice. We can skip the extra piece of cake or the three extra episodes of the show we would normally binge. That’s not us anymore. We are the hero of our own story.

This isn’t a magic bullet. We will still need to put in the work but it will make it easier the more we practice. Good luck.

*Check out James Clear’s article “Identity-Based Habits: How to Actually Stick to your Goals This Year” for more on this topic.*

 

Experimenting in the New Year

Image Credit: Pixabay


Happy New Year and welcome to 2019. It’s a whole new year of possibilities. Out with the old and in with the new, as they say. We’ve done our past year review, made plans, and thought to ourselves, “but what about all of the new things I want to do this year?” Maybe it’s time to learn a new language, become a writer, or the ever-popular working out. I know I have about a million different things I want to do and I want to do them all at once. Here are just a few:

  • Start another blog
  • Write Short Stories
  • Workout 3x per week
  • Drop 30 lbs
  • Meditate for 10 minutes every day
  • Keep a personal journal I write in each day
  • Learn another language (because who doesn’t)
  • Learn to code

You know… just a few easy goals to get me through the year. Right? This isn’t even everything and doesn’t include things I’ll want to do later on in the year.

These lists can be daunting? There’s so much on them and each one is the “most” important one to start right now. How to choose? How do we know which ones are right for us? We could start learning a language and realize it sucks but are we stopping because it’s hard or it’s not right for us?

First, we need to realize “we can do everything we want, just not all at once.” We have to understand we will need to create an order of precedence to figure out what we care about most. If we find a new, shiny object, we add it to the list to try next but don’t stop what we are working on now. One at a time. Slow and steady.

Once we know what we want to do we need to start executing. So what next? We start by thinking about life in 2 Week Experiments and 6 Month Projects. Again, this idea comes from Tim Ferriss (yup I’m talking about HIM again) in an episode of the Tim Ferriss Podcast where he’s being interviewed at Google. Let me explain. In episode 175, he was asked about his 5-year plan or goals. He told the interviewer he breaks things up into 2-week experiments and 6-month projects rather than having long drawn out plans. This allows him to try new things to ensure they are worth his time and to keep an open mind when new ideas or projects come along.

What does this mean for us? It means we get to be both the scientist and the test subject. We are both dart thrower and dart board. We are putting ourselves in control with our own destiny and giving ourselves a nice, easy window for testing. Want to start a blog but haven’t written in years? We can start journaling every day for two weeks to ensure we want to continue writing. How about completing a Spartan Race? We can try HIIT training for two weeks to see if it’s something worth pursuing. After the two-week experiment is over, if we are still excited, we can turn it into a 6-month project. Go out to get a free WordPress website (*cough* *cough*) to start a blog or sign up for a gym membership to take their free classes to move forward. If, however, after the two weeks are over, we don’t want to continue, we quit. No harm, no foul.

There are two important things to remember when starting these experiments and projects. First, there needs to be some criteria for success or failure. Something specific and attainable. Start by journaling every day for 10 minutes instead of planning to write for 30 minutes or an hour. Try this 20-minute bodyweight beginner’s workout by Nerd Fitness 3-4 times a week instead of paying for a gym membership and planning to be there every day for hours. Specific but attainable.

Second, develop a plan before each experiment. We have success criteria but now we need to figure out how to execute. It’s important to carve out specific time to work on our experiment and not assume (it makes an ass out of “u” and me) we’ll get it done. Figure out when we have the most energy to help ensure success. (Some people are morning people while others get there second wind in the afternoon or evenings. We know ourselves better than anyone else.) Also, ensure consult plans with spouses or children whenever necessary to increase the possibility for success. As Ben Franklin said, “Failing to plan is planning to fail!”

Remember the idea is to figure out what we want to learn or do, then break it into two-week tests for ourselves. This is long enough to either start building a new successful habit or realize it’s not our cup of tea. Then if a new shiny object does come along we don’t feel like we are giving up anything to try something new. This way we aren’t trying to pull ourselves in a thousand different directions and instead, working to be more productive with our time. Sure we might experience bumps in the road but with some practice I know we’ll get to do everything we want in life.

Let me know what experiment you are looking to try first this year. I’d love to hear from you.

A New Year and A New You: Past Year Review

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It’s that time of year again when we say, “Fuck you!” to the previous year and warmly embrace the new one. It’s a time when we look at our past failures and try to fix them in the year ahead. It’s a time when we set goals for ourselves with milestones to hit to become a better person. It’s a time for New Year’s Resolutions.

Except, should it be? Should we be setting goals for ourselves for things we don’t necessarily want or won’t to do? Is there a better way to make next year better than our last? I think so thanks to Tim Ferriss. (What can I say? I’m a huge fan).

Tim recently posted his article called “Forget New Year’s Resolutions and Conduct a ‘Past Year Review’ Instead.” It’s a quick article describing the five steps for a successful PYR (Past Year Review), which you can find in the link. Basically, you go through the past year and write down, in two columns, all of the Positive or Negative people, activities or commitments you dealt with. Then you find the 20% of people and things you enjoyed and schedule more time for them now, today. Plan trips, activities, or events now to avoid the last minute “what the hell do I do now?” Then take the Negative column, write “NOT-TO-DO-LIST” and keep it in a place where you can look at it regularly. This helps avoid “forgetting” how much frustration was caused.

There you have it. Do more of the things we enjoy and less of the frustrating stuff. Simple right? Now we can be unencumbered of our boredom and monotony to start living a life of adventure and freedom! So good luck and have fun on your life of leisure.

“Hey, Joe… Aren’t you forgetting about a little thing called life? It kind of gets in the way.” Sure, life can be unpredictable and chaotic at times but why is that the case? Why do we tend to feel like we are a first class passenger on a runaway train with no time for fun? If you’re anything like me it’s because we tend live life by the seat of our pants. We don’t plan anything and become wishy-washy with commitments. Then when something comes up we don’t want to do or it’s someone we don’t want to hang out with, we get frustrated we aren’t doing something fun.

Thanks to Tim’s article, I’ve come to realize I need to be more assertive with the things I want to do and deliberate in the planning. I know things will come up and plans might change but if I don’t make time for the people and things I want to do, I’m headed on a one-way trip to miseryville. Here is a list of some of the things I’ve realized I need to add onto my calendar for the upcoming year.

  • Spend time with my family (both immediate and my extended family)
    • Visit my parents and sister/Brother-in-Law/Nephews more
    • Have more “Date Nights” with my wife
    • Spend specific time with my kids but together and individually
  • Spend more time with my friends (other than the monthly poker game)
  • Play more Dungeons and Dragons (Yes, I enjoy Roleplaying Games)
  • Invite out of town friends for the weekend
  • Take more trips to my in-law’s cabin in Boone, NC
  • Have more get-togethers at our house.
  • Make time to write
  • Make time to play video games

At first glance it feels a little overwhelming but by understanding the things I want to spend more time doing, the more I can do. By planning fun things ahead of time I can ensure I am more deliberate with the necessities as well. I also believe it will allow me to be more present in my life which is something I desperately need to work on.

“Joe, I’m not going plan every minute of my life.” Of course not. The idea is to be more deliberate with our actions and time not to ensure we schedule our life completely. We want to ensure we add more positivity into our lives and avoid as much of the negative influences weighing us down. We want to get away from the feeling of being out of control. Stoic philosophy explains the only thing we have control over is our emotions and our actions. If treat our lives with ambivalence, we will continue to repeat the same shitty patterns each year. When we take time to care about who we are spending our precious time with and how we are using our time, our lives will improve.

Life will throw us curveballs and things won’t always go as planned. We may miss out on fun, spontaneous opportunities which come about but in the end, I believe, we better in the long run. So this year, let’s take some time to think about the positive and negative in our lives and be deliberate with what we want for the upcoming year. Make a plan, schedule it out, and defend it at all cost… especially from ourselves. Happy New Year, Everyone.

What Would It Look Like If It Were Easy?

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Life is hard. It’s difficult, complicated, and messy. The funny thing is we tend to complain about the hard times but we seem to like it. It’s something we live for and wouldn’t know what to with ourselves if it wasn’t hard. Hell, many of us out there spend their entire lives dreaming about retirement only to get bored within 10 minutes and look for another job.

Don’t get people started on easy money or “get rich quick” ideas either. They are scams. No one EVER got ANYTHING the easy way and most people don’t get things handed to them. Those who do get things handed to them are lazy, immature, and worthless. Easy is dumb and NO ONE should ever want things to come the easy way.

Then Tim Ferriss wrote the 4 Hour Work Week and a small rebellion started. These followers of Tim realized there was a better way to do things. We could work smarter, not harder if we took the time to think creatively. The old, direct way may work but is it the most effective?

What if “it” was easy? This is a phrase I’ve heard from Tim several times but it didn’t seem to click. Several months ago, however, Tim did another round of his “Drunk Dial” episode and I was lucky enough to finally make the cut. (Basically, his fans sign up to receive a drunken phone call from him and he’ll answer any question he is asked. Then he compiles the audio, he’s record, into an episode or two for his podcast.) I received a ton of good advice from this phone call but what stuck with me was “what would [my project] look like if it was easy?” Basically, what was the bare minimum I would need to get my project off the ground. No bells, no whistles, just unbridled minimalism.

If you are anything like me, we have a tendency to overthink and overanalyze the world around us. We have an easier time thinking about where we want a project to go but not where to begin. We think about all of the bells and whistles and think they need to be a part of the project in the beginning. If I don’t do A, B, and C right in the beginning then there’s no point to starting anything, right?

This is where we go wrong with most of the things we want to do in life. We over complicate things to the point of overwhelm and inaction. We want to get certifications, build apps, and need tons of money instead of seeing if there is an easier way to get started. We make 12 step plans when a 3 step plan will do.

I have a friend who would love to be a personal trainer or own a business in the physical fitness space. Unfortunately, they don’t have time to become a certified personal trainer, go out to find people to train, or start a business. What could they do instead? What would it look like if it were easy? “They could start a personal fitness blog, Joe.” Think easier. “How about posting workouts and fitness articles on Facebook?” Exactly! They’re already working out regularly and reading health and fitness articles, why not share them? They’d quickly become seen as an expert people could turn to with questions.

I went through a similar process with this blog. For years, I’ve wanted to share the things I’ve learned, with those around me, but it never really stuck. I made every excuse in the book as to why I couldn’t start. I had to create a name. I needed a website. I needed to write at least a dozen posts to ensure I had material in case I wasn’t able to write. On October 22 I got fed up and did something about it. I set up a free blog and now I’m posting regularly. “Look, Mom and Dad, I’ve got a blog!”

I’m not trying to say there won’t be work involved. Anything worth doing will take time and energy. There will be PLENTY of work. The idea here is to bypass the “paralysis by analysis” and get started by figure out if there is a better way. What is the least amount of energy we can expend to get the most results? Then we can take the energy we’ve saved to work on something else or take some much needed time for ourselves, guilt free.

The best part about this phrase is, I believe, it can be applied to everything we do. We spend much of our lives thinking and overanalyzing every little decision we have to make instead of doing. We need to stop. Stop waiting and start doing. I almost guarantee, not matter what you want to do there’s an easy way to start. So start… NOW.

(Bonus Post) My Bucket List

Image Credit: Viktor Hanacek


Yesterday, I wrote about taking time to create a bucket list or, as Steve Kamb would call it, an “Epic Quest of Awesome.” (I’ll explain more about this second part in a later post). I figured if I was going to ask you do create a list of things you want to do; it was only fair I made my own to share with you. I’ve made list like this before but I’m finally ready to start working on mine.

I know some of these “goals” might feel a little nebulous but that’s not the point of the 10-minute exercise. You want to set a timer for 10 minutes and write down everything you’ve EVER wanted to do not matter how silly it might feel. The planning comes later.

Now, for your viewing pleasure… My Bucket List:

Things I want to do:

  • Sail to Antarctica on the Bark Europa
  • Hike the entire Appalachian Trail
  • Visit every continent (including Antarctica
  • Visit all 50 States
  • Spend a month living in Europe
  • Spend a year living outside of the US
  • Attend the Arnold Classic
  • Attend the E3
  • Attend Origins
  • Attend GenCon
  • Own an Island (possibly in the Caribbean)
  • Sail around the Caribbean for a month
  • Fly in a Private Jet
  • Gamble in Monte Carlo, Monaco
  • Spend a month living off the land (have to think more about this one specifically)
  • Kill a deer with a bow
  • Clean/eat a deer I’ve killed
  • Own 50 acres of land in NC
  • Build a Bunker
  • Learn how to pick a lock
  • Learn to Snowboard
  • Attend Carnival in Venice, Italy
  • Attend a meditation retreat (Thanks Eat, Pray, Love)
  • Take a Course on Tactical Shooting
  • Learn to speak Spanish

Places I want to Visit:

  • Visit London
  • Visit Dublin
  • Visit Madrid
  • Visit Barcelona
  • Visit Tuscany/Florence
  • Visit Istanbul
  • Visit Prague
  • Visit Bratislava, Slovakia
  • Visit a Castle in Germany
  • Visit Amsterdam
  • Visit Tokyo
  • Visit Hong Kong
  • Visit Bali, Indonesia (thanks again Eat, Pray, Love)
  • Visit the South American Rainforest

Fitness Related Goals:

  • Become a Certified Personal Trainer
  • Squat 400lbs
  • Deadlift 400lbs
  • Bench Press 300lbs
  • Complete a Spartan Trifecta
  • Medal in a Spartan Race
  • Participate in a Powerlifting Competition
  • Spend a year learning Brazilian Ju-Jitsu
  • Teach my kids to weightlift

Business Related Goals:

  • Start a business
  • Work from home
  • Become an Angel Investor investing in at least one successful company
  • Become an Advisor to a Startup (preferably in Raleigh, NC)
  • Launch an Indie Video Game
  • Write a Fiction book
  • Start a blog
  • Start a podcast
  • Spend a Day with Tim Ferriss
  • Spend a Day with Noah Kagan
  • Spend a Day with Seth Godin
  • Spend a Day with Zach Even-Esh