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It’s that time of year again when we say, “Fuck you!” to the previous year and warmly embrace the new one. It’s a time when we look at our past failures and try to fix them in the year ahead. It’s a time when we set goals for ourselves with milestones to hit to become a better person. It’s a time for New Year’s Resolutions.
Except, should it be? Should we be setting goals for ourselves for things we don’t necessarily want or won’t to do? Is there a better way to make next year better than our last? I think so thanks to Tim Ferriss. (What can I say? I’m a huge fan).
Tim recently posted his article called “Forget New Year’s Resolutions and Conduct a ‘Past Year Review’ Instead.” It’s a quick article describing the five steps for a successful PYR (Past Year Review), which you can find in the link. Basically, you go through the past year and write down, in two columns, all of the Positive or Negative people, activities or commitments you dealt with. Then you find the 20% of people and things you enjoyed and schedule more time for them now, today. Plan trips, activities, or events now to avoid the last minute “what the hell do I do now?” Then take the Negative column, write “NOT-TO-DO-LIST” and keep it in a place where you can look at it regularly. This helps avoid “forgetting” how much frustration was caused.
There you have it. Do more of the things we enjoy and less of the frustrating stuff. Simple right? Now we can be unencumbered of our boredom and monotony to start living a life of adventure and freedom! So good luck and have fun on your life of leisure.
“Hey, Joe… Aren’t you forgetting about a little thing called life? It kind of gets in the way.” Sure, life can be unpredictable and chaotic at times but why is that the case? Why do we tend to feel like we are a first class passenger on a runaway train with no time for fun? If you’re anything like me it’s because we tend live life by the seat of our pants. We don’t plan anything and become wishy-washy with commitments. Then when something comes up we don’t want to do or it’s someone we don’t want to hang out with, we get frustrated we aren’t doing something fun.
Thanks to Tim’s article, I’ve come to realize I need to be more assertive with the things I want to do and deliberate in the planning. I know things will come up and plans might change but if I don’t make time for the people and things I want to do, I’m headed on a one-way trip to miseryville. Here is a list of some of the things I’ve realized I need to add onto my calendar for the upcoming year.
- Spend time with my family (both immediate and my extended family)
- Visit my parents and sister/Brother-in-Law/Nephews more
- Have more “Date Nights” with my wife
- Spend specific time with my kids but together and individually
- Spend more time with my friends (other than the monthly poker game)
- Play more Dungeons and Dragons (Yes, I enjoy Roleplaying Games)
- Invite out of town friends for the weekend
- Take more trips to my in-law’s cabin in Boone, NC
- Have more get-togethers at our house.
- Make time to write
- Make time to play video games
At first glance it feels a little overwhelming but by understanding the things I want to spend more time doing, the more I can do. By planning fun things ahead of time I can ensure I am more deliberate with the necessities as well. I also believe it will allow me to be more present in my life which is something I desperately need to work on.
“Joe, I’m not going plan every minute of my life.” Of course not. The idea is to be more deliberate with our actions and time not to ensure we schedule our life completely. We want to ensure we add more positivity into our lives and avoid as much of the negative influences weighing us down. We want to get away from the feeling of being out of control. Stoic philosophy explains the only thing we have control over is our emotions and our actions. If treat our lives with ambivalence, we will continue to repeat the same shitty patterns each year. When we take time to care about who we are spending our precious time with and how we are using our time, our lives will improve.
Life will throw us curveballs and things won’t always go as planned. We may miss out on fun, spontaneous opportunities which come about but in the end, I believe, we better in the long run. So this year, let’s take some time to think about the positive and negative in our lives and be deliberate with what we want for the upcoming year. Make a plan, schedule it out, and defend it at all cost… especially from ourselves. Happy New Year, Everyone.
Good thoughts Joe. I like the idea of a review and will have to try it. Someone shared with me that they will be working to be more “awake” and therefore as you say, much more deliberate with life choices. I like the visual of both comments. As I see it, we have been given choices, we will live better for ourselves and therefore others we care about if we are deliberate about these choices. Happy new year, Joe…keep writing and growing.
Good thoughts Joe. I like the idea of a review and will have to try it. Someone shared with me that they will be working to be more “awake” and therefore as you say, much more deliberate with life choices. I like the visual of both comments. As I see it, we have been given choices, we will live better for ourselves and therefore others we care about if we are deliberate about these choices. Happy new year, Joe…keep writing and growing.