Why the fuck am I writing? Today is the 30th blog post I’ve written and I still don’t know why I continue writing. So not I am forcing myself to think about this question. Why I write is a question I thought I had a vague answer to when I started but it gets muddier every day.
When I first started writing, it was out of a sense of urgency. For years I’ve wanted to write but was too afraid to put myself out there. I hid behind “maybes” and “somedays” and the dreaded “I don’t have the time.” My fear of looking foolish was more intense than my desire to create. The day I started, I slapped myself in the face, put words on a page, and posted them on the internet.
Then I thought it was to build me up and give me a sense of purpose. I’ve been in passive self-discovery mode for the last couple of years, reading and learning, but not really doing anything with the information. I would try something I learned but would stop quickly when things got difficult or the next shiny object would dance in front of me. Like Thomas Edison, I found a 1000 different ways to NOT create the lightbulb.
As the days went on, I thought it was a way to help other people. I figured I’d done enough reading and listening to other people’s ideas I could share them, with my own thoughts, bring clarity to myself and others. This would build a guru level status for me, which I could leverage to bigger and better things. Today the Joe Ditzel Project, tomorrow… THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHA!
Out of the 30 posts I’ve written, four of them were the “Here are my tips and tricks” type posts. I fucking HATED writing them. First they were long, tedious, and boring (sorry Mom. I didn’t mean to say the “B” word). Second, they weren’t me. These articles were everyone else. These articles were me trying to be like everyone else out there with little life hacks. While there’s nothing wrong with those articles, hell I love them and read them all the time, they aren’t me. It’s not my voice. It’s not how I want to write.
This weekend, after some serious self-doubt and the desire to quit this blog altogether, I came to a conclusion. I need to find my why. Why do I want to write and why should people listen to me? This idea comes from the Simon Simek book aptly titled, “Start with Why,” which helps to start people down the rabbit hole of self-discovery, by forcing them to take time to think. No matter what the endeavor, creative or otherwise, there needs to a reason for being. Once the why is figured out we can move onto the what and the how. (What are we going to do and how are we going to accomplish it?)
I may not know my “why” yet but I do know one thing, I need to keep writing. I need to keep putting myself out there, into the world, to see where this gravy train will take me. Until then, I’ll see you Wednesday.
The way I see it, the “why” will come. Don’t write for others to get something out of it. Write about your musings, learn from that yourself. Others may pick up on it and learn too. No matter what, make it what you want to read… your thoughts are worth much. Let others figure that out for themselves.❤️