Parenting and the Tooth Fairy for the Win.

My wife and I had a parenting win this morning. My oldest lost one of his teeth yesterday and put it under his pillow as an offering to the tooth fairy. Of course, life got in the way last night and we completely forgot to exchange the money for the tooth. Then this morning when my son woke up he realized, much to his chagrin, the tooth fairy didn’t come. By the time I realized our mistake the “damage” had already been done though, surprisingly, he didn’t say anything.

We could have told him right then and there the truth about the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and all of the other magical people and creatures out there but we didn’t. We decided to double down and wrote a letter from the Tooth Fairy saying she picked up a lot of teeth last night and didn’t have any more room. She thought his mom might want to keep the tooth as a keepsake. Then I took the money and letter, put it on his bed, and called him upstairs. I told him I thought it was weird the Tooth Fairy didn’t come, decided to check it out, and found the money, letter combo next to his bed. Without missing a beat, and solidifying the ruse, he concluded he must have knocked it out of the bed when he was sleeping. The fantasy is intact and we live to parent another day.

This got me wondering why the hell do we teach our kids about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy in the first place? Why not tell them the truth from the beginning? What do we really get out of perpetuating these magical beings?

At first glance, it’s tradition. My parents did it for me and I enjoy doing it for my kids. My kids also seem to enjoy having these magic beings in the world who do good things for them. But wouldn’t it be better for us, as parents, to put our names to the gifts rather than same “supernatural being?” Wouldn’t it be better for everyone involved to know the truth? Honestly, I don’t think so.

As kids, we want to grow up as quickly as possible. We want to get to a place we are independent and “don’t need help from anyone.” We WANT to do it. Then we become an adult and realize how good we had it as kids. There was so much wonder in our lives but now we are confronted with the cold hard truth of reality. For most of adults, the magic and wonder are gone or, at the very least, extremely difficult to find. No matter how tight we try to hold on it can easily slip through our fingers. I think this is the underlying reason why many of us decided to keep the fantasy alive.

There are plenty of parents in the world, every year, who decide to tell their kids the truth about the fantastical individuals. They do not like the idea of lying to their kids and feel it creates a foundation of mistrust. I completely understand their thought process and place no judgements on them. As parents we do what we think is best for our children.

In the end, we are choosing to keep the wonder alive for our kids as long as we can. In turn my hope is this helps to develop their creativity and fascination with the world around. Only time will tell. In the meantime, we’ll continue to run around like crazy people to keep the hope alive.