Practical Optimism

I’ve always considered myself a pessimist by nature. Yes, I know what I said in my last post and, at times, I definitely feel like I’m a Dashboard Confessional song away from being Emo. It’s exhausting and drains most of my energy. Up to this point I’ve talked a bunch about fear, anxiety, and being negative. Honestly, they are the easiest topics for me to write about since they are major driving factors in my life. They’ve been a part of me for so long they are ingrained into my being.

But that’s not the point of this blog. It’s not to focus on how my life was but what my life can become. Now that I’ve spent all of this time trying to fight the negative aspects of my I think it’s time to go in another direction. I want to focus on practical optimism.

According to the Mayo Clinic here are some of the possible benefits of positive thinking:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress
• Greater resistance to the common cold
• Better psychological and physical well-being
• Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
• Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

I don’t know how true these are and from what I understand researcher don’t know why being positive can have these benefits. I have to ask, does it matter? Don’t you think it’s worth trying even if there is a slim possibility one of the above list items could happen? I think so.

“Sure, Joe, I’d like those benefits and I want to make a change but I have no idea where to start.” Touché! The best place to start is at the beginning, with the negative self talk. The Mayo Clinic states there are four main types of Negative Self-Talk: Personalizing, Catastrophizing, Polarizing, and, my personal favorite, Filtering. Some might be more prevalent than others but they can easily creep in and cause damage.

Now the thing us pessimists need to remember is change isn’t quick. It requires practice, patiences, and persistence. Positive thinking is a skill we need to work on everyday to become stronger. Here are some things you can work on to turn that frown upside down.

1. Morning Journaling: Write a paragraph in a journal, on the computer, or in the notes section of your phone, in the morning about something positive you are looking forward to during the day. Maybe it’s a trip, seeing some friends, your favorite show being on in the evening. One thing, 5 sentences, explaining what it is and why you’re excited.
2. Gratitudes: Every night before you go to bed and think of a couple of things which really pissed you off throughout the day. Maybe is was an abundance of traffic, or a fight with the spouse. Then say why you were grateful for that experience. You could be grateful you weren’t in the accident or, worse, the hospital. It’s about finding ways to turn negatives into positives.
3. Regular check-ins: throughout the day think about the negative you were focusing on and see how you can make it positive. Get yelled at by the boss or spouse. Maybe there’s something you can work on improving by turning it in constructive criticism. Set a few times and take a couple of minutes to the negative into positive.
4. Add more funny: When it comes to tv, movies, or life in general, there’s no shortage of drama for you to encounter. They say laughter is the best medicine and adding a sitcom, romcom, stand up special, or comic from the funnies into your life will help you focus less on the drama.
5. Cut out the negative people: They say you’re the average of the five people you hang around. If those people are always negative it will be difficult to change yourself. Sometimes you need to cut the negative people from your life. While this is often easier said than done, especially with coworkers and family, you can take steps to not let them bring you down. Maybe lesson contact or don’t engage when complaining about something that happened to them.

Now if you’re anything like me you might be worried about long term sustainability of this habit change. I totally understand because trust me I right there with you. What I recommend it taking two weeks focus solely on becoming more positive. This doesn’t mean sit around your house all day trying only think positive thoughts. Instead live your life but add some of the suggestions listed above.

As a fellow pessimist, I understand any possible apprehension but if you are willing to commit to this process I am too. For the next two weeks I will be posting on twitter what I’m doing each day to stay positive so you can follow along. This way you don’t have to go in this alone and you can hold me accountable. Lets jump into this together.