When you think about a pessimist, who do you envision? My typical pessimist looks like an emo kid sitting alone in the dark. They tend to focus on what could go wrong instead of what could possibly go right. They are the boo hooers, the naysayers, and the negative Nancys (or Nathans… Happy Mom?)
These doom and gloom people in your life can be exhausting but what if you could harness their powers for good? What if you could take this focus on the negative and use it to make your life better? Would you be interested?
“But, Joe, what kind of devil magic is this in which you speak?” you might ask in your best Yoda impression. “Surely, there’s no positive about being negative.” Well, you’re wrong… and don’t call me Shirley. The answer is a little something called fear setting.
The first time I heard the term Fear Setting it was while listening to the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss. This book is a manifesto about getting out of your own way to have the life you really want. This means figuring out what you want out of life and taking steps to get it. Though, at first read, it can feel like the slacker’s guide to becoming a millionaire, there is more to it. It’s about challenging societal norms and realizing just because it’s been done “the same way for years” doesn’t mean it’s the right way. For some reason, as human beings, we tend to make life harder on ourselves even when we want to make things better.
One of the exercises Tim prescribes in this book is called Fear Setting, which he got from the stoic philosopher Seneca the Younger. (I will talk more about Stoicism in another post because I find it extremely fascinating but this is all you’ll get here). Basically, this exercise has you visualizing on your worst case scenarios to find out if what’s holding you back is really as bad as it seems. If you lost your job tomorrow would it be the end of the world or would you recover? How about breaking up with your girl/boyfriend or getting a divorce or becoming paralyzed? Will your world end if these things happened to you or could you recover?
What this does is takes all of those scary thoughts you have bouncing around in your head and puts them out into the open. Out into the light of day. When you take the time to word vomit your problems, fears, and worst case scenarios onto “paper” you find they aren’t as scary as you thought they were. You find the worst case scenarios aren’t so worst case, there are things you can do to prevent your scenarios from happening, and finally you can plan on ways to recover from your personal apocalypse. It becomes less doom and gloom and becomes temporary pain and suffering. You’ve planned for this and now you know how to fix it. (To read the full chapter about fear setting from the 4 Hour Work Week click here. The exercise is at the end).
After you’ve put down on paper your worst case scenarios in vivid detail you can practice them. Once or twice a month, a quarter, or a year you try to approximate living in these scenarios to inoculate yourself when the real shit hits the fan. Afraid of losing your job and not having any money? Spend a week only eating rice and beans or sleeping your car and showering at work. Afraid of losing a hand or arm? Go a day or two with your off hand tied to your side. Afraid of getting a divorce and being all by yourself? Take a solo trip out of town for a few days to see how it feels.
The fears and practice scenarios are up to you and can be as creative as you want them. The important part is finding ways to take the fear setting one step further by applying a practical application to them. Now not only do you think you can live through these scenarios but you know because you’ve done it. Every time you feel the fear start to creep back in you give yourself another “injection.”
That’s what I’ve done here. I worried about what people would think about my writing for so long I knew I needed to take action. When I started the blog I felt good but it wasn’t enough since I was still afraid to have the world read it. Then I shared I started a blog, on Facebook. I learned it wasn’t as bad as I imagined and was something I needed to continue. Even if the feedback was mostly negative, it was still worth doing because I could easily recover by moving forward anyway or finding a new project.
My point here is many times thing feel horrible, debilitating, or even the end of the world but can be recovered from. Sometimes pessimism is practical. So what are you waiting for? It might just change or save your life!
