When I originally decided I wanted to start a blog, some months ago, the idea was to be a repository of “wisdoms” I wanted to share with my kiddos. Things I learn throughout the years and wanted to let them know. This was to prevent me from shot-gunning advice to them all over the place. I have a tendency to be inconsistent at times and it can feel like I’ve put zero thought into what I’m saying or why I’m saying it. I worry they feel I rant because I’m a crazy person. The problem is I don’t always do a good job articulating why I say or do things which, I’m sure, feel unfair.
Instead of writing for the kiddos, I decided to write for me. I’m writing things down I want to remember. I also hope there’s the secondary benefit of helping you, and, eventually, my kids.
Those who know me know I’m a very anxious person. I worry about my life, my future, my wife, my kids, family, and my friends. I worry about how people think of my now and how they’ll think of me in the future. I fear being irrelevant and going my whole life with little to nothing to show for it. It’s something I’ve been dealing with all my life, often extremely poorly. I’ve let it become debilitating and hinder much of my personal growth over the last 36 years.
I’ve spent most of my life thinking about the future and what it held for me. Being a science fiction fanatic, I’ve always looked towards the future in anticipation and fear. I remember when I was 18, my parents asked me to write down where I thought I would be at the age of 25 and 35. Back then, I thought I was going to be a GLORIOUS day trader who had a million dollars in the bank by the age of 35. Well, I’m 36 now and I’m lucky if I have 2% of that million in the bank at this moment. Most days I just feel like a complete and utter failure. My saving grace is I’m not giving up and I’m continuing to fight, especially for my kids.
Over the last year, I embarked on a period of rediscovery. While most of it has been a colossal failure, I found writing, starting with the desire to journal. Many successful people say they journal every day, and wanting to be successful, I thought I’d try it. It was never a regular practice but I found I would write during periods of deep anxiety. Writing what’s on my mind seems to take the pressure off and it relaxes me. I found it cathartic.
When I was a kid, I thought writing was girly and dumb. Girls had dairies to write down their feels and hide them under their pillows. Boys didn’t need to write their feelings down, they just needed to swallow hard, and “Man Up.” Clearly, this line of thinking has been SUPER helpful for all these years (this is sarcasm). So now I write.
Since I’ve started writing I’ve learned three important things:
- Learning how to write effectively helps you to become a better communicator in your own right. You don’t have to be a “writer,” whether it’s a blogger, journalist, author, etc., but just need to a dude/dudette with a journal. Either way, you will need to communicate with others on a regular basis. The more you practice writing, the better you will be at getting your point across by organize your thoughts into a logically cohesive way. No matter who you are or what you do, being an effective communicator helps in all aspects of your life.
- Coming back to the catharsis of writing, I believe it helps with something called fear setting. Tim Ferriss has talked at length about fear setting and writing down your fears to make them more manageable. (I’ll talk more about this in another post). While I think his fear setting exercise is excellent, sometimes you just need to write down what you are thinking to get it out of your head. Your head is a nebulous place where fear, doubt, and anxiety enjoy living and need the darkness to grow. Writing shines a light on fear so it can no longer sustain itself. Taking away fear’s power will help make you a better, more balanced, less angry person.
- Writing helps create better ideas by developing your analytical side. If you’re anything like me ideas get into your head like a brain bug and infect you. They swirl around all day making it difficult to focus on anything. Maybe it’s a problem you are trying to solve or an idea for the next lifesaving widget. Much the fear setting, this exercise provides a safe place to problem solve and figure out next steps by looking back, ordering, and reordering thoughts until they make sense.
Can you do these things without a regular writing practice? Sure, you can. Is this the best way to work on these skills? Maybe not. What I do know is writing is the first thing I’ve found to work, and Lord knows I’ve been trying. Now I’m here writing every day to become a better communicator, build a defense against my anxiety, and become a better problem solver.
So, I encourage you to join me by starting to write now, today, and often.
