Today was a big day for me. After much hemming and hawing, and hitting the snooze button about a dozen times, I got up to workout. This is the first time I’ve gotten up in the morning to work out since I went on vacation in the beginning of August. Though I’ve worked out a few times since then, this was the first morning I was able to make it happen in 2 1/2 months.
“Congrats, Joe, but so what? What’s the big deal?” There are two main reasons I’m excited about this “milestone.” First, before I went on vacation I was working out 4 times a week in the mornings before work. I would get up around 5:30, roll downstairs to the garage, and throw some weights around. This was my routine for over 3 months, which is the most consecutive working out I’ve done since the military. Second, since vacation, a few of things happened which derailed my momentum, the biggest of which were having our water heater break and having a third child. When the water heater broke, forcing us out of our house, the darkness started to creep in and my daughter was born I was sent into survival mode. My routine was destroyed and I didn’t have the metal toughness or grit to get it back on track.
Last week, I read an article on the Nerd Fitness blog about habit forming. It basically states we try to change behavior incorrectly, which is why we continue to fail. We focus on outcomes, then processes, then how it affects our identity, instead of the other way around. The article talks about how we need to change the way we see ourselves if we want to ensure our habits will stick. Before vacation I was a guy who enjoyed weightlifting. I was a Warrior! Then I came back, stumbled, and, again, became the guy who was afraid of working out. The fear was back and I forgot my identity.
This morning I remembered. This morning, I grabbed the fear by the horns, after hitting the snooze button several times of course, and gave it a swift head-butt… in the head. This morning I decided I was in charge and wasn’t going to take his shit today. Today I fought the fear and I won!
Now I know today was a small victory and I only won the battle. I stared fear in the face and it blinked. This was today. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow. Tomorrow could be something completely different. The fear might come back with a vengeance not wanting to give up its stronghold. Tomorrow the fear might win again. Tomorrow I might fail. The war is far from over and I’m ok with it. Change doesn’t happen all at once. It comes from showing up every day and fighting the good fight, children. So today I will bask in this victory and tomorrow I will show up to do it again.
I hope to see you there!
